Monthly Archives: June 2016

1 US Citizen + 1 not + wedding in the U.S. + living abroad

Four phone calls.

Government worker #1: Kevan needs a fiance visa but also has to live in the US
Government worker #2: Kevan needs a fiance visa but he doesn’t have to live in the US
Government worker #3: Kevan doesn’t need to have a fiance visa if he’s not staying in the US
Government worker #4: Absolutely DO NOT file for the fiance visa since we are leaving the country again after the wedding

Glad we cleared that up.

Sorting through every single thing I own

I leave in a little over two months. In addition to school and work and wedding planning, I need to organize the daunting amount of possessions that I own to decide what’s being discarded, sold, and taken with me.

Four years ago I had a different packing experience as I prepared to study in France for a year. I wasn’t about to pay extra for a second suitcase, so I really worked to limit what I brought. I even cut my hair so that I wouldn’t feel the need to bring a hair dryer or straightener. I packed light enough that I even had enough room to stuff a pillow in my suitcase, which turned out to be an excellent decision as it was much more comfortable to have that than the pillow that had been left for me that had been who-knows-where. I wore my five-ish outfits into the ground and returned with a suitcase that was only half full because many of my things were too disgusting to bring back.

Although I lived happily 10 months abroad without all of the material items by which I am currently surrounded, the idea of giving up these things for good is difficult.

Several days ago I had a burst of motivation and decided to go through all of the clothes I own. I even made little labels (ripped up pieces of paper with sharpie on them, how organized) for my different categories: Clothes to bring to Trinidad, clothes to last the rest of the summer, clothes to leave at my mom’s house (winter things for when I visit), clothes to discard, and clothes for the garage sale that my mom and I have been meaning to have for years.

After a quick overhaul of my dresser and closet, the piles were done. The Trinidad pile could have easily filled too large suitcases, and I still have to fit in books, shoes, and whatever else. I dug through it, lamentingly removed a few things, and looked again. It could have filled one and a half large suitcases.

Let me tell you an uninteresting story about my stuff. I’ve left some things in Trinidad on previous visits, so I already have clothes there. And if I’m honest with myself, I probably have nearly enough clothes there as it is.

Did you ever read any Little House on the Prairie books? While bumpily traveling out west in a covered wagon, sisters Mary and Laura Ingalls shared one tin cup. Laura had two dresses; a Sunday dress and a working dress. For Christmas one year, Laura was given a rag doll that was one of her most treasured possessions (and maybe the only real toy she ever had). There’s something in a simple, comparatively stuff-less life that appeals to us. When I was discerning religious life, one of the greatest calls for me was poverty: living with few material things and taking excellent care of the things we do have.

I DON’T NEED ALL THIS STUFF. It’s in all caps because I’m trying to convince myself, too.

This move is going to be an amazing exercise in detachment from things.

A one-way flight to the Caribbean

This is the point in my life where I begin looking for a one-way flight to Trinidad. Who knew.

This is the dream that a lot of people dream about. Many blog posts and articles pop up on facebook that have titles like, “How I quit my job to travel the world!” or “I sold everything I own and moved to <random cool location> and found a job there.” And it’s exciting, and you think to yourself, why don’t I just do that? But you don’t, and I don’t, and it’s probably because the idea sounds great, but the reality is that it will cost a lot of money, and travel bloggers are thing but it’s maybe not your thing, and you’re not sure you could even get a job if you go to this place, and what about all the paperwork you’ll have to do to live and work somewhere else assuming you do find a job, and there’s the fact that you don’t know anybody there, plus how long are you going to stay and how many family gatherings and weddings (or – as much as you might not want to think about it – funerals) are you going to miss?

One of these fears has already been taken care of for me. I’m not moving to Trinidad on a whim, I’m moving there to be with Kevan, who conveniently has a very full network of family and friends and family-friends who are all fun and welcoming and supportive. On that same note, I have a place to stay: I’ll be living with Kevan’s grandmother to start off (who lives just up the road from Kevan – also convenient), and although I’m going to give her money for rent, it’ll be much less than if I were to actually rent an apartment there. Kevan tells me that she is excited to have me and has been telling him about the food she’s going to cook for me.

While this knowledge is extremely comforting, the rest of my fears are quite present.
What if I can’t get a job that pays enough to support myself and also to work to pay back my student loans? Average salaries there are much less than the U.S., but the cost of living is comparable.
What about traveling back to see friends and family? All the people close to me are scattered around the country, so with one trip per year I’d likely only see a few people, and that’s if it’s really well planned.

While I do not have a job, my first two months there will be spent traveling and working on a project for a scholarship that I won. That’s another thing that has fallen into place really well, because I can job search while doing that, and it’ll be easier to job search from there than from here. I am also fortunate that I’ll have Kevan’s family and friends looking for a job for me too.

I thought my fears rant was going to be much longer. I actually typed a few and then deleted them because it felt silly. One was weddings – I have four close friends whose weddings I really, really want to attend. However, none of them are engaged yet, and based off of the current state of things they’ll likely get married far apart from each other, so it won’t be unreasonable to attend all of them. Another is paperwork, but ultimately that will be just a pain and not a showstopper.

Overall, I’m pumped for this adventure. I’m grateful that I have this opportunity, and that so many things are falling into place for this to happen. I know that I have a lot of surprises ahead of me. I’ll have many opportunities to learn and overcome challenges. There will be times when I’ll be frustrated or confused, but I’m hopeful that those moments will be greatly outnumbered by the happy and fulfilling moments. I’m excited to see how everything plays out.